Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I don't feel like thinking deeply. Not sure whether the opposite of that is thinking shallowly or being in the present. Regardless, it's a struggle to come to the keyboard today. However, there is a day yesterday that deserves recognition, over a second cup of tea. A transcendent day.

I reconnected with Bridget, a long-time Sydneysider, a few months ago in Boston, and she was able to join me for an afternoon yesterday. She made time to meet me in her inordinately busy life, for which I am grateful. We spent formative hours and years together in the early 90's as young architects on the Big Dig. It was an experience that bonded so many that worked there for life, and especially strong bonds were forged among us in the Urban Design group. We worked long days and long weeks together, charting a new course for large swaths of Boston down to the finest detail. This work required iteration after iteration, conversation after conversation, over months and years. We spent many evenings together across the street in a favorite bar, with our engineering friends. We shared many house parties and life milestones.

I’d always, for years, wanted to see Bridget in her native habitat. Australia seemed so far away, and requiring more time away from work than I was able to carve out. Now having all the time in the world and having travelled here, I realize it is not that far as Bridget reminded me. For me, it took leaving work to find the space to do so much I’ve long wanted to.

Bridget returned to Sydney after her time in Boston, some 25 years ago or so, and has been transforming Sydney ever since with remarkable, interdisciplinary projects requiring endless collaboration and buy-in, to an extent that strikes me as unachievable in the US. Why unachievable? It comes down to an American abandonment of investment in civic culture, infrastructure, and space. Instead, our culture prioritizes personal space and profit. Bridget will tell you those factors are here in Australia as well, but she and her colleagues and constituents were still able to prevail with community-building solutions that seem astounding to me.

We saw, walking around the city on a Sunday afternoon, how it had paid off. So many people, families, groups walking the city. Endless outdoor cafes and restaurants nearly full on a coolish, cloudy day, but there was one more table for you if you want it. Waterfront promenades were busy with foot traffic. All along our 15,000 easy steps, Bridget was filling me in on the latest in public art and infrastructure design, including the challenge of representing indigenous culture in the urban landscape in a “catch-up” sort of way. And, it was a whole lot of really great work.

We had also had the leisure of time to fill in the gaps of our lives' evolution over the past 30 years. This is what I came away with, these strong reminders:

• My understanding of the midlife transition was reinforced. For each of us, there comes a phase in life after climbing the ladder, after building one achievement on top of the other, when those priorities fall away and the things that matter most are time, people, and time with people. This stage may arrive over time or precipitously, earlier or later, but it arrives.

• Life is sometimes preposterously hard for each of us. Without exception. For that reason, the most important thing we can give each other is our compassion and our company along the way.

• In a synthesis of the first two points, we can all reconnect during midlife with important people in our life history, and it can be as deep and meaningful as if not a day of separation has passed. Thank goodness for that, and for the people who matter to us.

For all of us, our connections, our love for each other, when we stop to feel it and give it - are a reliable doorway to transcendence and joy.

More of this tomorrow, as I travel to Adelaide to see my dear friends Bernie and Colleen, and their family and friends.